The Greek Musical Romp
By Michael Colby and Gerald Jay Markoe
In this zany musical send-up of ancient Greek mythology, Candora is a young prophetess with a problem: her unflagging truthfulness gets on everyone’s nerves! After being convinced by the stalwart Pectorus to apply for the lofty position of Oracle, the two set off on their mission to Delphi, only to run head first into two other seers on the same mission. While being romanced by the dashing Cyclops and avoiding Hernia, the Greek Goddess of Inner Disorder, Candora must ultimately decide what (and even who) she wants in this epic and madcap musical adventure.
The Story
Act I
The pseudo-ringmaster, Apollo, sings about the current state of Greece (Opening [We Greeks Have a Myth]). Delphi has lost its great soothsayer and Apollo has sent his messenger, Pectorus, across the land in search of three possible candidates (We Need Someone Now).
Pectorus comes across Candora, a young prophetess, and tests her prophetic talent (The Test 1). Candora explains her gift (I Know Everybody’s Business) and also reveals that she can’t see her own future. Pectorus describes the importance of the soothsaying responsibilities (The Oracle at Delphi). Candora is not sure if it is the right life for her but Pectorus encourages her to come along (You Could Make History).
They depart Athens and arrive at the Eleusis Shoreline. There, they come across two siblings, Zircony and Asphodel. Zircony is entrapped in chains of jewelry. Her brother, Asphodel, is incapable of helping his sister because he is entranced by his own reflection. As the travelers approach, they see the creature Waspra, half wasp and half human, ready to attack Zircony (Song of the Waspra). Pectorus and Candora intervene and Waspra, defeated, literally buzzes off.
Safe now, Zircony describes the affliction that keeps her brother drawn to his own image and Asphodel explains (When I Gaze).
Zircony reveals that she too has prophetic powers (though it is clear she is lying) and then uses her flirtatious flattery to convince Pectorus of her skills (The Test 2).
It’s nighttime and, as the woods become creepy, it is obvious that Pectorus has a soft spot for scary things, which he explains he inherited from his mother (Mother). They set up camp in the woods and the other characters console the large man (To Help You Through the Night). In the middle of the night, Zircony tries to seduce Pectorus while Asphodel and Candora have a more innocent love connection. The travelers wake up and are haunted by the sound of buzzing, a curse that Waspra placed on them (Birth of the Snore).
Nebula, a wood nymph, and her protector, Cy, a Cyclops, approach and introduce themselves. Nebula is an authentic prophet, who channels voices of future Hollywood movie stars (Believe Her). Pectorus then gives her the opportunity to prove her powers (The Test 3). Candora senses there is something else haunting Nebula, and the nymph confesses she has run away from her tyrannical mother, Hernia (Its Own Reward).
The group has finally reached Delphi and Apollo is there to greet them (Apollo’s Entrance). Apollo then asks the three candidates to prove their talents (May I Be Candid?). Hernia has put Apollo under a spell and the group is informed that a human sacrifice will be chosen in addition to a soothsayer. Zircony and Nebula both flee but Candora is forced to remain because she can only tell the truth: she is best for the prophetic task. Hernia and Apollo prepare to kill Candora (Finaletto, Act I).
Act II
The company is chained together and each of their powers is hindered (Unus Ex Machina). As Apollo is about to bring an axe to Candora’s head, Cy is able to stop him for a moment. Apollo is awoken from his spell as Hernia storms off (A Hopeless Day). Apollo gives the task of choosing the prophet to Cy and his clear-seeing eye. When the Cyclops gets Candora alone, it is clear that he has fallen in love with her (Even If I’m Not Your Type). Candora is confused by this new affection and runs off.
Zircony enters having seen the previous action and attempts to seduce Cy (Give Me the Chance). Candora is torn between her newfound love and her goal of becoming prophet (Right for Me), and all of the young lovers begin to grow weary and jealous of each other. Hernia enters casting a sleeping spell on all of them. While they are asleep she casts several spells to wreak havok.
Apollo returns to hear the decision as the others wake up. Cy picks Zircony because of Hernia’s spell and chaos breaks loose (Duel Ex Machina [This Has Got to Stop!]). In the midst of the action, Hernia fatally stabs Pectorus. Candora is visited by Zeus who gives her the answer to break the spell. As Hernia tries to attack, Candora offers her magical wine and makes her sick. Then, when Hernia goes after Cy, Candora protects her newfound love and kills off the wicked enchantress.
In the end, Cy and Apollo elect Zircony as the prophet. She is visited by the ghost of Pectorus who tells her he will return to give her the visions she needs (Fate Can Be Funny/Finale).
“This chipper little show is delightfully diverting, cheerily wholesome (but never cloying), and plenty of fun!” –nytheatre.com
“Witty spoof of Greek myth and myths in general!” –The Village Voice
“A delicious musical romp!” –Back Stage
“Delphi or Bust is a charming and modest new musical celebrating the spirit of Greek mythology and, more generally, the very act of story-telling.” –nytheatre.com
Cast
4 Women, 4 Men
CANDORA – Female, 25-30. Young leading lady. Spinsterish, yet pretty soothsayer. Heroine with elating soprano voice, fascinating eyes, and devastating candor. Should also have belt voice.
PECTORUS – Male, 35-40. Robust, stalwart messenger. Bass/baritone (to high F). Powerful and muscle-bound, yet afraid of mice. A vulnerable soldier type who is comically romantic.
ZIRCONY – Female, 25-30. Voluptuous, bejeweled opportunist who reforms. Constantly flirting and dissembling. Mezzo-soprano with gorgeous figure; sloe-eyed and sensuous; material-girl quality.
ASPHODEL – Male, 20-28. Brother of Zircony and the fabled Narcissus, only more beautiful and selfabsorbed. Childlike ingenuousness, with impulsive outbursts. Afraid of the world at large. Slightly dopey tenor (to an “A”).
NEBULA – Female, 20-30. Spacey, pixyish visionary. Often possessed by spirits' voices, yet strangely insightful. Unique soprano voice with a wide-eyed, childlike ingenuousness akin to that of Asphodel. Should be able to improvise famous voices, à la Forbidden Broadway.
CY – Male, 25-35. A Cyclops. Nebula's protective guard and traveling companion. Tall, wellbuilt, and dashing with a mythological quality—like a super hero. A plain-talking, straightforward crusader with an irresistible baritone voice.
HERNIA – Female, 35-40. Charismatic goddess of disorder. An all-out villainess who revels in black magic and cruelty. Tall, seductive, hilariously evil alto, who may have the aura of a nightclub star.
APOLLO/WASPRA/ZEUS – Male, 35-45. The grandiose, quintessential Sun god. Doubles as Zeus, as well as Waspra—a mythic Greek monster, half-human and half-monster. Funny character actor with a strong baritone voice. Imperious, with the theatricality of a game-show host. Adept at fast/patter song.
Many performers double as ATHENIANS in the opening scene.
Setting
Ancient Greece
Running Time
2 Acts, Approx. 120 minutes
About the Authors
Michael Colby (Book and Lyrics) is the librettist/lyricist of such musicals as Charlotte Sweet (Drama Desk Award nomination), Tales of Tinseltown (numerous productions), North Atlantic (Show Business Award), Delphi or Bust (Amas Musical Theatre), Ludlow Ladd (various regional productions), The Human Heart (Billy Rose Foundation grant; Marymount Community College, NY), Slay It with Music (off-Broadway and London), They Chose Me! (Tada!), and Mrs. McThing (Goodspeed at Chester). Michael was chief writer for The New Amsterdam Theatre Company (at Town Hall, NY), the forerunner of Encores in presenting musicals in concert. He has written for The Theatre by the Blind, The NY Festival of Song, The 92nd Street Y, and numerous benefits. Among the personalities for whom Colby has written are: Angela Lansbury, Linda Lavin, Michael Feinstein, Tony Randall, Savion Glover, Cicely Tyson, Ben Vereen, Susan Stroman, Ron Raines, Cliff Robertson, Jack Gilford, Paul Shaffer, Lainie Kazan, Jane Powell, and Julie Wilson. Recent projects include: They Changed Broadway (a revue about Broadway Jewish talents) and lyrics for Boynton Beach Club (Park Vista Theatre, FL) and Meester Amerika (cited by NJ Star Ledger as "Best Original Score of the New Jersey season"). Mr. Colby is a member of BMI and the Dramatists Guild. For more information, visit: www.michaelcolby.com
Gerald Jay Markoe (Composer) was a classically trained musician with a wide variety of experience in music for theater, popular music, world music, and music for Yoga and meditation. His formal training was at the Juilliard and Manhattan Schools of Music (Bachelors and Masters degrees). His scores for off-off- and off-Broadway Theater include: Charlotte Sweet (Michael Colby, Librettist); Ludlow Ladd (Michael Colby, Librettist); and Happy Haunting (Michael Colby, Librettist). Markoe also wrote background music for productions of Faust; Indulgences in the Louisville Harem; and He Who Gets Slapped. His children's musicals include: Alice in Wonderland; Cinderella Update; The Black Princess; The Alchemists Book; Punch and Judy; The Forgotten Treasure; and Androcles and the Lion.
Royalties
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Materials
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Orchestrations
Piano
Keyboard 2
Bass
Guitar
Percussion
Percussion 2
Production Resources
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